In preparation for Burning Man 2013, I printed 100 copies of a book of poetry and short stories that I had written during the previous 10 years. In the last few weeks, I’ve been drafting blog posts to start sharing those poems as well as new ones. I had hoped to finish a poem about tenacity before the GAAD event on Thursday, but depression was the theme of the week and I wasn’t feeling tenacious.
This week’s playlist is called “Tenacity.” It starts with Tenacious D and meanders through geeky, funny songs because when I need to feel more tenacious, I turn to comedy.
I cried at work on Wednesday because I was feeling afraid and deflated. I cried at home on Thursday because Chris Cornell died. I cried at the Space Needle on Friday after visiting the KEXP memorial, listening to Soundgarden, standing in the sun, feeling the warmth and relief of this rainy winter letting go. I cried this morning in bed listening to Chris sing Whitney Houston’s, “I will always love you” and reading that he committed suicide using an exercise band and a carabiner.
And I remembered this poem that I wrote 27 December 2012.
Towards the lightDepression muffles cocoons pads encapsulates Hazy unclear murky Heavy silent still Depths darkness mutes The sun shines the weight pulls me down unable to stretch unable to grow towards the light Depression is hibernation growing roots in winter Storing up for the burst of growth in Spring Preparing the systems solidifying grounding composting Readying me for the eyes the sun the warmth For joy will be grounded in the earth as it reaches for the sun.